School Shenanigans

Well, yesterday Tyler was "on red" at school.  They are either on green, yellow or red based on behavior and they said Tyler was just really out of sorts and grumpy and acting up.  When I picked him up he was sitting by himself and wouldn't smile or talk and when I asked him why he was in trouble and why he was grumpy - he told me "I'm not grumpy, I'm sad."  That made me sad, too but it really is a bit of a catch-22 because I am sure he was being "mean" and not playing well with the other kids because he was in a bad mood and then they wouldn't play with him which made him sad.  He is a bit of a loner by choice, anyway but I think this is one of the few times that it wasn't his decision to play by himself and it was upsetting.  He has been difficult lately - really they both have.  Lance is taking prednisone for a strange rash, so he at least has an excuse for a short fuse, but I have been on edge lately too.  They are both just pushing all of our buttons right now, and the not listening, full-blown temper tantrums can really test your patience when you know that they know better.  My sister and brother-in-law were talking about how they take a couple of trips a year without the children and we really need to try to do that (we even talked of all four going together but that leaves 5 children and three dogs to get settled).  It is pretty impossible with our babysitter situation, but I do think we need to try to work it out once we get in a better financial position (see I am being positive in this new year trying to think when not if) because as they said, it just makes your relationship better with each other and with the kids and helps to re-fill your stores of patience and energy!  For the time being I would settle for a night to use our gift cards for dinner and a movie!

They just had their most recent assessment at school, too and not much has changed.  Tyler wasn't marked below "usually" (the highest possible) in any checklist area and the teacher's reiterated in their comments that he is still doing great academically.  They said "Tyler's memory, foresight and analytical skills are out of this world.  He is struggling with letting others speak and find answers by themselves, as usual.  Tyler is wise beyond his years."  Katie seems to still be having some confidence issues and the areas she was marked "sometimes" rather than "usually" highlight that.  She has been talking like a baby a lot lately (drives me insane) and acting like she doesn't know things that I know she does and seems to be trying to fit in and be like her friends more than being herself.  Her notes said, "Katie is a terrific student!  She is very bright and is usually very creative and has a great memory when called upon.  She doesn't tend to offer up answers on her own, though.  We have been making a big effort to call on her more, seek her advice and positively affirm what she says to build her esteem.  She is a bright star - just needs to let herself shine."

 I think a lot of what Katie is going through is very normal, especially for girls.  I struggle a bit knowing how to help Tyler, though, since I don't want him to stop answering and participating in class (and he is a very all or nothing kid) and I also can't make other children be friendly or play with him as he likes.  I do think he does a lot better with older children in school and playtime since those that are 4 and 5 years old are more apt to volunteer answers and participate in class or want to play intricate games with cars and dinosaurs or put together puzzles.  Older children, though, don't want to play with "little kids" like Tyler so I really think it is just a waiting game until the younger ones develop the same interests - and they will once they get just a bit older.  There really seems to be a pretty big developmental difference between 3 and 4 year-olds, and I will probably think the same between 4 and 5 so hopefully this in-between stage will just be blip on the radar!  I still think, too, that being in the same class is causing some issues.  It is almost as if they are typecasting themselves - Tyler is the one that participates in class and Katie the social one, and I can't seem to get through to them yet that they can both be both!  I know this is just the beginning of these kinds of parenting struggles and dilemmas - and this should probably also be the beginning of an annual resolution to just parent the best I can and try to let the worry go!        

We did coerce a smile out of Tyler last night when we stopped by Advance Auto Parts to see the Monster Truck!