I Don't Think So!

We hired a sitter Friday night in order to get to go to see my brother-in-law's movie (he was a producer).  The kids asked if we could have "Miss Lacey" here every Friday night.  We told them that wasn't possible, but we were really glad they had a good time and promised to have someone over to play with them (what they thought she was here for) again soon. We used a sitter service and although it is expensive, we discovered that the price ($11 an hour, plus a $10 flat fee each visit) is in line with what is paid to neighborhood sitters of friends of ours, plus the sitters are typically college students, who have had background checks and training in first aid and CPR, so we felt pretty comfortable with that option rather than doing the drop-in childcare that was the other option but would mean the kids were out too late!  The movie was fantastic and if it comes to your city you should definitely check it out!  We had a great time Friday night and then went to breakfast with So-So and Ray-Ray and Matthew and his girlfriend Saturday morning before another trip back out to the Bucksnort Trout Ranch.  The kids were kind of enamored with some older kids that had their toys out at the fishing place, but eventually got around to putting a line in the water and I think everyone managed to catch a fish!  Tyler told us he wanted to go back fishing so I think he had fun.  Lance and I certainly enjoyed the trout last night!  We didn't manage to get it ready it by the time the kids were ready for dinner, especially since we went swimming after Lance got off work and had two very exhausted children by the time we got home, but will have some tonight for everyone - especially now that we have a delicious way to prepare it - it was soooo good and we are thankful that we got to take home the fish from fishing day :)! 

Today we went out to the water park since it has been a while and the kids have been begging.  We are continually annoyed at the park - the place is run by teenagers and managed the same way.  Every time we come they have a different rule - no outside floaties last time (even though before you could bring them as long as they  were coast guard approved) which meant standing in line for ripped, too big life jackets once we got in and then this time they said no goggles or masks and made us walk all the way back to the car to put them in it rather than allowing us to just put them in our bag.  Those don't sound like much, but the way you are treated the whole time really adds up to us not being able to wait until the new Water/Snow park opens!  It was Latin Day today and it was pretty funny to watch Tyler dancing to the band that was set up by one of the pools!  The kids still really like it, and we have fun too, it is just amazing that they wouldn't try to step it up a bit since a new park is opening to give them some competition! 

Pink Eye :-(

We all went to Pancake Pantry, as the kids have been begging for, on Saturday morning.  About halfway through breakfast Katie's eyes started looking kind of swollen and like she had rubbed something in them (they were eating "Bears in the Snow" pancakes with powdered sugar and chocolate chips so they likelihood was high).  Later, though, they got even more swollen and runny and she told us that her eye hurt.  I took her in to the doctor and they said what we suspected (made us come in anyway of course, just like with the ear infection instead of being able to call it in which means we spent about $300 at the doctor this week for them to tell us what we already knew in order to get prescriptions) - pink eye in both eyes.  Her eyes were awful yesterday afternoon and she was anxious to get out of the house since before the pink eye we had promised a park adventure, so we waited until later in the afternoon and took them out to feed the ducks when there was nobody else around.  She asked to go to bed last night (that's when you know she doesn't feel good at all) and just was not comfortable, and then this morning woke up with them swollen shut which scared her and made us sad.  They are having to miss a birthday party this afternoon for a little girl at their school that they were looking forward to, and we can't really go in public with Katie's contagious eyes so we'll try to watch a movie and do some fun at home stuff today instead.  We are really hoping everyone else avoids it - we all have cracking, dry hands from the amount of washing and sanitizer that has already been used!  Here is a picture of Bug, they don't look as bad here but this is after medicine, a warm shower, and during the eating of a special donut that her sweet dad went to get for her!

Ear Infection :(

Well, I mentioned in the last post that Tyler has been extraordinarily grumpy, with toddler-like temper tantrums and lots of whining.  I still think a lot of it is his age and wanting to be completely independent, trying to sort out fair and unfair, and understanding emotions.  Last night he said "you were a mean mommy today but I will still hug you because I love you" - because he and I had to leave Publix because of his behavior before he got a cookie or got to pick out snacks for school - and I think some of that was ear pain and some is just that he is testing every boundary he can right now.  Nevertheless, I did take him to the doctor and found that he has a really bad ear infection.  Finally, yesterday he mentioned that his ear hurt and when I thought about all of the swimming he has been doing plus the fact that he has been stuffy for a month a lightbulb went off!  I gave him some Tylenol and he was my happy, a lot less grumpy Tyler again - yeah!  He is still Mr. Tough Guy and I have no idea how long he has been dealing with ear pain, but glad that we can get him some antibiotics and give him some pain medicine to hopefully make him feel better soon!  The doctor did check his breathing after commenting that he hasn't seen him for a while and sound he sounded great despite having a never-ending cold (new school and I think we are all just passing it back and forth) and a cough.  So glad that he seems to be getting better and getting over congestion without steroids and breathing treatments!!!

Google to the Rescue

I was beginning to go a little crazy wondering why my kids seem to backsliding horrendously behavior-wise, when I have always heard that at or near four you get a little relief from toddler-like antics.  I do think that part of the reason K & T have been acting up some lately is because of the new school environment and being around children whose parents have different parenting styles than those of the children who were in their old classes.  The kids have become very emotional - whining and crying almost constantly, fighting with and tattling on each other, and Tyler in particular has gotten more aggressive - hitting and kicking Katie when she annoys him (and with them in the same class they do have more time together to get on each other's nerves). Tyler was in time-out for most of the evening yesterday when I witnessed him pushing Katie and then he refused to stop wailing or whining.  It is difficult, because usually they want the same thing that we don't have two of (yesterday it was the fridge letter D when they were both trying to "spell" words) and I don't have a great way to decide who gets what and when if neither of them had it first but both decided they wanted it at the same time.  In this instance Katie was quicker and grabbed it when she realized he wanted it, but that isn't OK either and I don't want to reward her by letting her have it because she had it "first" (especially since they have become super competitive with each other).  I didn't allow either to have it, but that doesn't seem right - I am going to try to encourage sharing next time we deal with it, instead of instigating  meltdowns by totally taking it away.  We had a long talk with Tyler last night and we tried to make it clear that violence of any kind is unacceptable.  I also told Lance that I know that they are having problems at their school with some of the boys who are hitting and kicking, and Tyler seems to have picked up on it, unfortunately.

The whining and crying and talking back is literally about to drive me insane and although I do notice that more of the children in their new class seem to also cry and whine to get their way, I have got to find a way to stop it and ignoring is not making a difference!  That is where google came in - I looked up ways to curb whining and just as validation confirmed that it seems that this is a problem that many parents of four year-olds face (just not typically with two four year olds at the same time who get each other going and are both strong-willed).  Some of the advice is too touchy-feely for me, with getting down on their level and telling them you understand why they are upset and giving long explanations for why they can't act like a baby.  I may be giving them too much credit, but I fully think they know that the behavior is unacceptable - what they don't know is that it is ineffective and that is my fault.  Plus, I think they need to learn that regardless if they are upset they do not act like that and I am not going to validate entitled, bratty behavior.  So, the key point that I am focusing on right now is to just make sure they realize that whining will not get them their way, and will in fact cause them to face consequences - meaning I will try to tell them once that I cannot understand or hear them when they are whining and crying and wait until they can use an appropriate voice to hear what they have to say, and also make sure that whatever they are whining about does not happen even if it is a total inconvenience.  Yesterday Katie wanted to go to a restaurant and proceeded to beg and plead and whine for 30 minutes when I told her we could not go and admittedly, in the past I may have been talked into going to Subway or Sonic (restaurants to them and easier for me) if she would stop whining, but I realize now that just reinforces to her that she whines and then she stops and then she gets her way. Tyler's second episode was after I fixed them dinner of grilled chicken, mashed potatoes and green beans and he decided that he wanted a PB&J - I am embarrassed to admit that one one point I may have made him a sandwich to go with his meal if he agreed to take bites of everything on his plate but last night I refused to make him anything else and he whined and cried for a good while over not having a sandwich (even pulling out statements like "I am so hungry mom, and "you are mean to make me starving").  I have to realize that he is not going to starve, especially since I prepared plenty of food that is available for him should he need it, and that  giving in is most of the problem!   Lance and I also agreed that we will not give them things that they request unless they ask nicely, say please and do not have even a hint of ordering us around (another new tactic).  We'll see how it goes, but I am happy that even in light of all of these things they are still fun to be around for the most part and really do love each other (I told them I never got pictures of them together and they moved in for this super cute one all on their own)! They loved the Dragon Park and it was refreshing that one of my old tactics worked - laying out the rules before we even got out of the car  - the key one being that when I say it is time to go they have to leave!

Future Professions?

I know we have no idea what the kids will do one of these days - but it seems to be a popular question for preschoolers and it was up on the board at the kid's school recently.  Katie said she wanted to be a "kid doctor," probably to differentiate between Tyler who wants to either be an "animal doctor" or a fire fighter or a teacher!  I really think Katie is going to be a race car driver, or if she wants to stay in medicine :) maybe she'll drive the ambulance!

That girl is obsessed with driving and cars of all sorts - this was the ambulance at the Adventure Science Center but they also have another car that she stalked to get in the driver's seat, she plays with Tyler's cars as much as he does, and she begs to ride her bike all the time!  When we go to the beach in August I am definitely going to see if we can find some go-carts or bumper boats for her - she will love it.  Mini-golf is also on the agenda and they both would love that.  They are always swinging the little plastic clubs that we have and Katie likes to cuddle up next to Lance and watch "Daddy's golf show" with him.  She is too funny when she is watching because she dramatically exclaims, "oh, no he didn't make it" every time they hit a shot.

They both loved the fishing exhibit that is new at Adventure Science, and I think sometime soon I am going to take them fishing while Lance is working one Saturday or Sunday.  If I don't think I can manage the two of them at a real lake I might just go back out to the Trout Farm, even though we may have to purchase fish instead of catching them considering our track record of fishing prowess.  Tyler especially like that whatever they "caught" then fit into a puzzle - it was like Tyler Toy Heaven!

I think I am way behind the trend, but I am really loving these monthly boxes that people are having sent to themselves with all sorts of products.  They seem to have one for beauty products, new mom stuff, arts and crafts projects to do with the kids, and my absolute favorite - WittleBee.  It sends you a box of kids clothes to your specifications and the child's interests and favorite colors, etc. - monthly!  It is kind of pricey when you are buying for two at $40 per month, but I did find out that they will split the boxes or send a boy box one month and a girl box the next.  How cool is that?  With our good fortune of friends who lend us clothes for Tyler, family hand-me-downs, and gifts we probably haven't spent $80 per month on clothes for them.  But, we certainly have spent $40 - especially when you consider that the boxes will sometimes include socks, hair accessories, underwear, swimwear, leggings, and other seasonal items.  They are moving into sizes that they will probably be for longer than they have been which means two things - the borrowed clothes we have been getting will be less because the kids we are borrowing from will be able to wear them longer, and especially when the weather changes we will have to fully outfit them since they can no longer wear jeans, pants, etc. from last year and don't have any waiting in the wings from bigger and older children.  OK, OK - I am rationalizing (maybe practicing for my pitch to Lance), but I think it is such a fun idea and the reviews say that the box of stuff is worth at least $100 if not more and some of the things I have seen are super cute - especially for boys who are harder to buy for, in my opinion.  I will probably try it in the Fall - and the kids absolutely love getting mail and especially actual things for them so I will probably split a box even though that means only a couple of things for each instead of minimum six, but they will both get something (to avoid the fighting and whining about fairness that has already started) and it will be plenty since most of their days are spent in play clothes at school!  

Role Reversal

I can say it, since she is nowhere around to hear me and can't read just yet - Katie was the star of the show at her old school.  She was confident, outgoing, and widely recognized as just being a natural leader, kind of bossy :), but for the most part sweet and funny.  Now, it seems, that the roles have reversed.  Tyler is the one that is Mr. Chatty, answering questions and telling jokes, charming the teachers, and making friends, while Katie kind of keeps to herself and lets Tyler take the spotlight.  I am just waiting for Katie to come out of her shell at the new school since I really don't think that shy and reticent is much of her true personality, but it is good to see "Ty" (as Katie keeps calling him) be able to hold his own around her when he used to just let her do all the talking and friend-making for the two of them!  I admit though, that I am having a hard time with Katie not showing her true colors and wish that they could both be confident and friendly at the same time!  This morning when Tyler was dropped off one of the teachers was talking about how smart Tyler is and how impressed they are with all he knows and says and talks about.  It takes everything in me not to come to Katie's defense and make sure they all know that she is smart, and funny, and pretty great too!  They probably know that, and if not they certainly will eventually, but one of my hang-ups and fears has always been that one of them is going to think the other is more of something...   


I want them to be distinct individuals, and to be recognized for their own strengths and weakness, and I cringe when I fear that people are classifying or labeling them, especially in school (I'm talking real school - not preschool).  I don't think there has to be a smart twin, or a funny twin, or an athletic one - it isn't an either/or - they can both be smart (and are), and I don't want them to think they are being compared or even worse that they don't measure up in comparison.  I, honestly, don't even really think that intelligence matters all that much when it comes to school performance if it isn't an extreme one way or the other.  More important, in my opinion, is liking school and valuing and enjoying the educational environment.  That is one thing that I am so far very pleased with at the new school.  The kids seem to be having so much fun, and the slight Montessori influence seems to be great for them both.  When I pick them up they are usually playing contentedly (as is the whole class of kids who are left)  with something of their choosing that they get to decide how to play with, and in what way, and for how long.  It is really great to see them learning so much, while having a lot of fun and really getting to do things that interest and intrigue them.  It seems to be mostly self-directed play during that time of day which is fabulous and something they haven't had a lot of in a school setting.  And, I really don't think that any of the teachers are judging either of them - I think it was a truly off-hand comment just because Tyler really can wow you with some of the ways his mind works and the ways he has learned to tell you about it all!  I am thrilled that my little "teacher's pet" (he comes by it honestly since I was a lot the same way) and my little day-dreamer who could take or leave school, both seem to be in a place that will be good for each of them.  I just have to remind myself that Lance and I will be the biggest influences on making sure that they both know that they are smart, and loved, and appreciated and also have to remember (and hope) that they aren't yet as neurotic as me and that I am the only one who takes this fairness and equality thing between them a bit too far :)!  

So Far So Good

Well, we are in week two of the new school and so far everything is going well.  I was really encouraged that both of them were excited last night to tell us what sounds letters made and Katie, especially, seems to enjoy the new school's method of teaching that is more play-based.  They are in the middle of a health and safety segment that focuses on self-esteem this week, and yesterday Tyler amused the teachers when they asked him "Tyler, what makes you unique?"  The teacher said that he looked at her and kind of had a "well, duh" kind of voice and said "I am a twin!"

No big plans for tomorrow's holiday - but we probably aren't going to see fireworks.  There is a ban because we have been so dry and hot which means that I am sure the public displays will be super crowded and I am not too keen on fighting crowds in the heat with two three year-olds (almost 4, though, amazingly) who aren't used to staying up so late and will probably be scared, anyway!  They seem to be scared of everything these days - kid movies that you would have no clue would be frightening are to them - like the "mother" in Tangled and any super-hero cartoon apparently, and they are starting to complain about dark - but I don't know if that is because they see nightlight commercials and think they supposed to be scared or if they are trying to get the nightlight!

They are decked out today at school thanks to Ray-Ray!  Lance had them chanting USA and Tyler wouldn't let go of his "tattoos" that I picked up for him yesterday that he thinks are the absolute greatest.  Lance definitely does not think it is a good idea to encourage them to like and want tattoos, but I couldn't pass them up in the Target dollar bin :)!