Oh, Katie...

Today, for the third time, I was called into Katie's classroom for a discipline issue. She is still going through stages where she absolutely does not want to go to school and spends most of the day crying and whining with the only explanation being that she wants to be with me. For more days than not, though, for the last two weeks she has been proud to be a "big girl," and hasn't cried or even stalled too bad at drop-off. There have been incidents, though, that have confounded the teachers so much that they do more than just ask "if everything is OK at home" or if she "is going through big changes" and call in reinforcements (me)! Each time I have come in the room Katie has been completely naked with her clothes, shoes and socks strewn all around in opposite directions (she apparently throws them violently as far as she can while undressing). I have been privy to the outbursts when I bring her to my office to try and talk some sense into her and it is both hilarious and disturbing. She is so intent on expressing her anger by disrobing that it really is kind of funny, but then she is naked in the middle of her classroom having a complete meltdown with everyone watching and you just have to wonder what she is thinking. My boss came into my office today while I was giving Katie a time-out (while her friends were on the playground so it actually worked as punishment) and saw what was going on and left. When I went in shortly after to see what she needed, I told her what was going on. She talked to the Program Director and another person that I work with to try to give the teachers some strategies (so they don't have to come get me) and to give me some explanations. Now that I look at it from their perspective it makes complete sense - Katie is a control freak just like me and her dad! She has control over what she is or isn't wearing and we can't really stop her from undressing, so it has become sort of a power play for her and in her mind it is kind of like her saying well, I don't like that and I am going to undress in protest and there is nothing you can do about it. She has also learned that it gets attention and that it gets her out of doing whatever it is that she doesn't want to do. The funny thing about today's episode is that she was mad that she didn't have a jacket like all of the other kids (it was 75 freaking degrees!) - so she literally undressed because she couldn't dress exactly as she wanted! Tyler is oblivious to all of her shenanigans since they are thankfully only really happening at school, and he seems to be really happy in his class right now, probably because the awesome weather has meant lots of outdoor play time. One of his teachers left and I was worried that he would be upset because he really liked her, but he just tells me that Miss Kimberley isn't in his class anymore but now he gets to see Ms. Tawana, so all is good!

Park on a Rainy Day

Today has been a full day, despite the sporadic rain and chillier weather. We met some friends out at Bowie Park (I know - again - but it really is great). The first stop was the playground and the kids had a ball, with lots of "watch me, mama" exclamations over their dare-devil antics. While I was in the bathroom with Tyler, who unfortunately had an accident when he didn't want to stop playing, the decision was made to leave the slides and swings and head toward the ducks. So, we went out to the lake where we proceeded to feed the least hungry ducks and geese I have ever seen. We actually had bread this time, and the ducks wanted no part of it! It started to rain so our friends set the kids up in the tailgate of their SUV for a picnic!
When the rain subsided, Tyler went back to his pine cone collecting proclaiming each one that he found as his favorite.
Katie was playing "mom" sitting on the picnic table trying to order around our friend's little boy.
They were having fun together today, which is much different than what is happening now when they seem to want to sit in the exact same spot, play with the same toys at the exact same time, and watch completely different shows!

Gardening Fun

We have still been enjoying beautiful weather and took advantage this weekend! Saturday we were indoors for a birthday party, but on Sunday we went to a yummy breakfast at Monell's (can't stay away now that we have rediscovered it) and then to Home Depot. We got some mulch, and I got some gerbera daisies to put in pots even though I know they won't last - but they will make me happy just to see them when I drive up for at least a little while! The kids "helped" us weed the front beds, and plant the pots and spread the mulch. Katie really enjoyed it and especially liked that she got to plant the pink flowers she picked out! Tyler much preferred playing in the tent I had set up in the yard to help them escape the sun and then once he moved all of his cars outside and then back in he was ready to stay inside. We will have to find some way to get him to enjoy being outside more - although I don't really blame him for preferring to be inside over weeding! He is definitely his father's son - Lance did the bulk of the heavy lifting for the gardening project and was certainly working hard - but neither Tyler or Lance particularly likes bugs, dirt, or getting messy! I don't mind a little dirt, and Katie seemed to actually enjoy digging and getting dirty, but I will admit that I am a freak about bees, hornets and spiders (all that seem to be mighty prevalent when gardening in TN) so I can't make fun of him too much!

We have another crazy weekend ahead, but it should be fun for the kids even if I am a little harried when it is all said and done! We have a birthday party Friday night and another on Sunday afternoon. They are absolutely wild at these birthday shindigs. I wonder if it could be the cake, juice, ice cream, other little children, and bouncy houses that bring out the sillies - ha! Last Saturday was a bit challenging trying to keep up with them on my own. I guess I have gotten used to Lance helping me and us being man-on-man, because this time, on my own, I spent the majority of the time asking one of the kids where the other was and looking frantic I am sure since Lance had to work and wasn't able to help me manage the Monkey Joe's chaos.

I also have my first tennis match of the season on Sunday (I might have to enlist the kids as ball boy and girl - kidding, or at least my team hopes so), the dinosaurs are still calling our name from the zoo, there is a fun fundraiser for Book 'Em happening at Hillwood with the Easter bunny and an Easter egg hunt, and Katie has dance class for a couple more months. We let Katie try on her recital costume to make sure it fit and then told her she couldn't wear it until the recital, although picture day is in April and she will get to wear it then. The recital is May 19th, and the costume will be out of sight, out of mind until then, but for little Bug it is perfect - pink, sparkly, big tutu, bows - what more could a 3 and 1/2 year old girly girl want!

Fun Birthday!

My Birthday was last weekend and we had a great time. So-So and Ray Ray watched the kids for us Friday night (another big thank you) while we went to a great dinner at Park Cafe and then to our old hang-out - Corner Pub - to watch the first Vandy game of the SEC Championship Tournament. Vandy won and we enjoyed hanging out and being care and kid free for the evening! The weather was and is beautiful so we did lots of playing outside and running around on Saturday and then Sunday (my actual birthday) we went to breakfast and then watched Vandy beat Kentucky in the championship game! The kids came running into my room Sunday morning and were so excited that it was my birthday and sang and were just giddy. I didn't figure out till later that the reason for the excitement was because they thought we were definitely having a cake, and that there was a good likelihood that my "party" was at Monkey Joe's too. They were sad when they finally understood that there wasn't a party, but they did really like the key lime pie that served as my birthday cake!

Tyler got his haircut on Saturday and was just great as usual (the hair stylists are still astounded at how well he sits still - they don't know it is because he really, really likes lollipops). We haven't gotten Katie's cut but I think it is time for at least a trim and maybe some bangs because she just won't let me do anything with it. With my hair, my motto is usually that it is just hair and it will grow back, but I am not sure that is the case with Katie :)! She definitely got Lance's thickness (or lack of) and texture as well as color.

We have a busy weekend ahead. Vandy plays today in the NCAA tournament and hopefully this weekend.

This was their game day gear for school today!

We also have a birthday party on Saturday at Monkey Joe's (which should make the kids happy). My tennis season is starting with practice that I am probably not going to make it to. I want to try to get out to see the dinosaurs who make their appearance at the zoo this weekend. And I am sure there are St. Patrick's Day festivities that will be fun, although Lance is pretty much off kid duty this weekend I am sure because of work and March Madness, so we will have to see what I can manage with this feisty, unpredictable duo!

For my birthday I got a new Kindle Fire, which I absolutely love, but not as much as the kids!

There are some really great apps for them to play with on this kindle and even though I am protective of the device and considered making it kid off limits, I love that they really enjoy playing the matching games, and letter recognition activities, and puzzles, and learning videos. It amazes me that, for them, the touch screen is so intuitive. The computers in their classrooms are touch, and they are able to easily navigate the kindle and seem to know what to push and when to get it to do what they want without me even giving direction. They will have to be comfortable with technology when they are in school, so I do let them play with it on occasion (when I am not hogging it playing Words with Friends).

I got a new app for them last night and read the reviews that said it was great for preschoolers and that it would entertain them for hours while they worked to get stickers. Well, it is entertaining and they love it, but within the first five minutes Tyler had already earned a sticker and in the 30 minutes they played it (sharing so well too) they probably had 25 stickers - so I don't know if it will be a long-term thrill like I hoped - but it is a great game. I watched them play for a while and am so impressed with all that they know! It asked them to count objects, to pick the object that started with certain letters, to remember what object was on overturned cards, to put together puzzles, to pick the object that was the biggest, or different - and they got all of it correct in record time.

Hopefully the learning games will serve Tyler well in his upcoming test! We finally decided to try to enroll Tyler in the Metro PK class that is where they currently attend. Only one of them can be in the class because Metro does not allow twins in the same classroom. So, the first decision was which one to enroll. We chose Tyler because of the teacher's personalities and feel like he will do better in the more structured, academic environment and Katie will probably thrive with the other teacher who is very creative, and compassionate and really works to make learning fun (I sought the advice of their current teachers, literacy coach, etc and all said to do it this way). If Tyler doesn't get in to the PK class he will be in the other class with Katie and that will be just fine. If he is enrolled in the PK class (we don't qualify because of income, but if there are spots available there are other ways to earn a seat), he will have to start school at 8:00 (so an earlier day for all of us), and he will have to wear a uniform! When I remembered about the uniform I almost re-thought who I was trying to enroll since it would be great to take away the getting dressed dilemma for Katie each day :)!

Bribery Still Works

Well, Katie was still whining and crying all day yesterday to the point that one of the teachers approached me again to make sure nothing was going on that they needed to know about, and reminded me that it has been three weeks now (which she made seem like too long). So, today I used an old trick - bribery. Katie has a "Hello Kitty" purse that she loves and I told her that if she could be a big girl and not cry at school she could take it with her and put it in her cubby. Today she waltzed right in to her classroom with her purse over her shoulder and didn't even give a whimper. I don't know how long it will last, but I am certainly not above a little bribery of that sort if these are the results!

Last weekend we went to the zoo with Ray Ray and So So. It was a bit cold, but fun to get out and especially to see a sneak peek of the dinosaurs that are coming in two weeks!!! We'll certainly be back since Tyler was wide-eyed over the size of the one dinosaur's teeth that we saw and he has no idea that there are about 15 more that he will get to see once the tour/display opens! For now, they were just as happy getting to ride on the carousel, play on the playground (that still freaks me out because it is huge with lots of hiding places, twists, and turns), and see animals more up close than usual.

Tyler was a little daredevil on the playground - wouldn't give up on making it up the climbing net and no fear on the high, twisty slide. This was just a little break while everyone else was getting all the details on the dinosaurs!

No big plans for the weekend, although in addition to Selection Sunday - my birthday is also this Sunday :). Lance seems to remember (is replacing my broken kindle as a gift) and is trying to find a way for us to get out on Saturday night if we can get a sitter, but I know that he is more excited that it is the SEC tournament and almost time for March Madness!

Crying, Clinging Katie?

Unfortunately, this week Katie has not been the happy, funny, silly little girl we are used to, and we are at a loss as to what is wrong!

This picture of how she normally is was just taken on Sunday, and she has been fine on weekends and at home at night, but all week she has been crying literally all day, every day at school (they have tried bringing her to me, taking her to Tyler, etc. with no real benefit). What is so sad is that it is not whining, temper crying - it is big ole' crocodile tears, sincerely sad crying and it breaks my heart. Luckily, she did ok at So-So and Ray-Ray's Tuesday night, which allowed Lance and I to get out to watch the Vandy/Florida Senior night basketball game. We had a lot of fun, and are so thankful that they kept them for us, and that the kids love being with them so much that they could care less what we go and do!

Of course I have been "researching" possible reasons for Katie's new behavior and it seems to be normal if the child is new to preschool or newly separating from the parents (which she isn't), but not so much if nothing is different. This was a good summary of all of the things I read - "Separation anxiety can re-occur in older children in response to changing life events such as bullying at school, a bereavement of a loved one, a change of school, parental illness or marital disharmony. This often presents as the child or young person showing distress or fear when they go to school or they may insist that they are with their parent at all times, even to the point of sleeping in the parent’s bed. This is exactly what Katie has been up to, going so far as to wake up this morning and cry to be in bed with us, which is very strange for them. As far as I know, none of those things apply in this situation - there have been no changes, nothing going on with us (the parents), and the teachers say nothing has changed in school. When asked what is wrong all she says is "I want to be with you," or "I don't want you to leave." Interestingly, I did read this too- Is the young person different from the majority of other young people, for example from a different ethnic or religious group?. She is the only Caucasian child in her class, but that has been the case since she was 2 years old so I don't know why that would be an issue now, unless she is just starting to recognize it and feels different and confused. The only other thing I can think it might be is that she has picked out the word "die" lately in some of their songs (surprising how many children's songs talk about it) and says it is a "bad word." I think someone has explained the meaning to her and maybe she is just starting to get a rudimentary understanding of death and how it could affect her or those she loves. I really don't know what to do, so for now we are just going to go with Lance's advice and opinion that it is just a stage that she will soon outgrow, or a time of cognitive development that she will soon sort out.

A decision has to be made about school this week, since sign up starts today. I cannot find any aftercare options for the program at the elementary school they will eventually attend, and know that we can't always be there at 2:30 to pick them up so we are not going to pursue the Metro Pre-K program. We just can't find a way to afford any of the other Pre-K programs we were interested in, so it looks like they will be here for another year and then definitely starting Kindergarten as the youngest in their class. I just don't think two more years in this program would be the best option for them, and prices around here at other preschools are exorbitant for two so we will start them in public school as soon as we can and hope for the best. I am kind of glad that decision time is upon us because I am getting really annoyed talking to admissions folks and program directors (none of them will tell you tuition until you talk to them, schedule a tour, etc. - which just seems like such a waste of time if you know that it is out of your price range). One that I just talked to finally said (after I told her that I would be happy to schedule a tour if I knew that our attending there would be feasible but not until then) that tuition would be $850 a month for the first child and then gave me the fabulous news that the second child is ONLY $845 a month. Wow, thanks for the $5.

$20,000 a year for child care (and that doesn't even include random things like supply fees, field trips, lunches, etc) is just mind-blowing, but it seems that most people we know find a way to do it. It often makes me feel like I am not doing enough to put my kids first when we make the decision that we just don't have reliable enough income from Lance (commission only) to make that big of a financial commitment, or that I am not making enough sacrifices to make it happen. I probably made some friends that I spoke with uncomfortable when asking them about their childcare situations, because I sincerely wanted to know if I was missing out on some big secret of how people are able to send multiple children to the schools that they attend (people who I know are in similar financial situations as us). I was comforted to hear that our friends have had to get really creative to do it if they have more than one child - one friend changed to working part-time only so she doesn't have to pay for before and after care, and family gifts and loans seem to be common (and this made me realize that we are lucky to have the option that we do of them going with me, because without it loans may have been our only choice, too). It does make me feel better, after talking with them, to know that I am not the only one obsessing over this or the only one who wishes for some options in the middle (something that really does seem to be missing - there are either the really high priced, academic oriented places or private schools, or low-income centers that focus primarily on children receiving subsidies - but not much in between)! The in-between folks probably (wisely) decide that working doesn't make sense and choose to stay-at home rather than work to pay for child care, but for a myriad of reasons that is not an option for us, and besides, I really like my job! I think, too, that work helps keep me somewhat grounded. I see what a blessing our center is in the lives of people who are hard working and committed to providing quality education for their children, but who simply cannot afford traditional preschool fees. Our programs really do fill a critical gap for parents who make too much to qualify for social services, but still need affordable care options. I also see, on a daily basis, what need truly is and some of the hardships that other families face, and it makes my issues look pretty trivial.