Katie and her backpack...

Katie was allowed to take her backpack (Minnie Mouse with wheels) to school for show-n-tell the other day, and ever since she has been obsessed with the thing.  The backpack has been packed and re-packed with the most random things she chooses about a million times, and it has to go everywhere with us.  It's funny that neither of them has really had that one thing that they use as sort of a "security blanket," but now I can relate with those people who have to have back-up blankets or toys in case something happens to the first.  She would be devastated if it broke, which is very likely since it is one of the most cheaply made things I have ever seen.  It is kind of strange that a backpack is the choice - but she can roll it around, take things with her, and it seems to make her feel like a "big girl."  The unexpected bonus is that we finally have something to take away.  That sounds horrible, but until now we didn't have anything that she wanted enough for it to be a consequence if she wasn't allowed to play with it - but now we do :)! 

Katie said to Tyler this morning, "Ty, I am going to be good so I can take my backpack in the car."  Two funny things about that, to me.  One, she is now telling Tyler she is going to be good too, because he has started to try to "parent" her on the way to or at school, copying the things we say - even going so far as to say "I am proud of you for being good today, Katie" when we were praising her for a good day the other day.  Two, that she has taken to calling him "Ty."  I don't know if she has heard someone else calling him that, or if Tyler is just too long for her these days, but I started noticing it earlier this week and it has continued.  I don't really mind because that was the original intent of the name choice for me way back when (we had names picked out years before the kids came along).  Lance, on the otherhand, prefers to call him Tyler and says that is why we named him that (although that argument would hold more water if his sister wasn't called not her "real" name Katie). 

No pictures, although we had a fun day and I wish I had remembered my camera.  I had a tennis match this morning and met Lance with the kids at Taco Bell since he had a full day showing houses in store once I was done.  I mention Taco Bell because the kids thought that was one of the more fun things they did today - it was all about the swiveling chairs!  We then went to Red Caboose Park and finally found a park with a sandbox which the kids loved.  I know that I am bordering on helicopter parent when I am at one of those places, but I just can't help it.  It has lots of nooks and crannies and is really spread out - which means that it is really easy to lose sight of the kids.  Most of the other parents were sitting on benches chatting or reading while their kids were playing.  I, however, was running around frantically trying to keep eyes on both of them which proved impossible. Anytime I plan to go to the park I envision them playing, and me sitting and enjoying watching them - but to date that has never happened!  I just can't seem to handle not being able to see them both at one time, or relaxing and just trusting that they can play and have fun without getting into mischief.  We went to the Franklin Main Street festival, too, this afternoon and the kids loved that.  We got sno-cones, went to the petting zoo area, and watched some dancers perform.  Needless to say, the kids are worn out, and so am I!  We had a great day, though, and I definitely needed it - we had a successful event at work last week, one of two big grants were submitted, we were awarded a grant that was iffy on getting, and the Parent Fair is over, so I was looking forward to the weekend and am glad I got to spend the day with reasonably well-behaved, very funny children who never cease to amaze me in how they look at the world (and how they remind me to look at it too)!

"That" Parent

I have officially become "that" parent at the kid's school. The one who has no control over her children. The one who is stared at with either pity or disgust, depending on how much the other person thinks I am to blame for my child's behavior. And now, the one who has been referred to the RIP program (Regional Intervention Program - Positive behavior managment program for pre-schoolers and parents). I am in the midst of a very, very busy couple of weeks at work and dealing with this really may just be enough to put me over the edge. Katie obviously needs a break, and thanks to her shenanigans so do I!

Monday night I took the kids with me to the grocery store and endured some of the brattiest behavior ever from my children - complete with whining, screaming, crying, jumping out of the cart, and Katie doing everything in her power to not get in the car (because I wouldn't buy her a book that she saw that she wanted). She proceeded to get out of her carseat (without unbuckling it it) while we were on the way home and was standing in the seat. When we finally got to the house, I carried her in and put her in timeout at which point she completely undressed, intentionally peed on the floor, and threw everything she could get her hands on. This behavior continued the entire evening, and at bathtime she was immediately put into her room after hitting Tyler (with a bath toy - and she had already been hitting and scratching both of us) and wasn't allowed to finish her bath. She was kicking and screaming, slamming doors, throwing clothes, and taking her pajamas off up until Lance got home when she finally calmed down. It, honestly infuriates me that he has never seen her behavior at that level, because he really seems to think I am exaggerating when I tell him that it is truly out of control and that it is not just me overreacting or worrying too much about what others think. It is actually rare for her to act up like that at home, since she much prefers to humiliate me in public and at school, and by the time he got home she had to be exhausted since it was the most prolonged tantrum I have ever seen.

Yesterday she did not want to leave the playground at school and when I picked her up off of the tricycle she was riding she began to hit, scratch and bite me. When I put her down for fear of dropping her, she darted out of the classroom. I chased after her, yelling to one of the teachers to please watch Tyler, and only caught up with her when she had gotten out of the front double doors and was heading toward the busy parking lot. I brought her back in and put her in the "principal's" office while I went to get Tyler and as I was walking out of the classroom with him I see her dart by with two teachers running behind her yelling for her to stop. I left Tyler again and chased her all around the back building and playground and then had to pick her up again and endure being hit, scratched and bit some more. Today, she is not being violent or yelling, but has reverted back to taking all of her clothes off and on the playground today she removed her clothes and ran to the back of the very large playground and hid, completely naked. She was brought to my office after the second time of this when she repeatedly said that the reason she was doing it was because she wanted "my mama," and didn't want to be at school. This behavior was the reason for the referral, not the tantrums - because undressing and running away in public just cannot keep happening!

I truly do think that the main reason for the clothes removal is to get attention, and I fear that it won't stop until she is not at school at the same place that I work (because she knows that here she will get to see me if she continues to act up). I have read all of the advice on what to do with your child having tantrums - time-out, she has to physically be held in a spot or if she is in her room she kicks the doors, throws things at the wall, and destroys anything she can get her hands on; notice, compliment and reward good behavior - we constantly do that and she seems to understand and be proud of the acknowledgment but can't handle herself when she loses her temper; communicate to find out why she is angry - every single time we try to find out what is wrong and it is either something we can't control (like I have to go to work), or she wants something that she doesn't need (like the book). The hitting, scratching, kicking thing - the only solution I have read is to put her in time-out, but I can't seem to find an answer as to how to keep her in that spot and not running away (if we are say in a grocery store and not near her room), or how these books propose that I take care of my other 3 year old when she is demanding so much attention in public. These things that I keep reading seem to say mainly the same thing, "the problem is often inept, inconsistent parenting. I feel like we are consistent, and we do our best to do as they say by controlling our tempers, enforcing rules that are reasonable and using discipline that they can understand - but obviously something is going wrong somewhere.

There are tons and tons of books and articles about the "Torturous Threes," and the "Tantrum Threes," and hopefully we are nearing the end of what I am praying is just a stage. It is really a shame, because for the most part I love this age, and the kids are typically funny, and engaging, and just fun to be around - but they are also stubborn, strong-willed, smart little things who are testing every single boundary and learning how to be independent and that can certainly be challenging! We'll see how the "intervention" goes - although I truly don't think that this behavior is that atypical in terms of tantrums and acting out - just the way she is expressing it - and I will continue to wish to win the lottery so I can quit work, make a donation to ease my guilt of leaving my job, and none of us will have to go to "school"for the next couple of years, unless we want to :)! I have implemented stage one of operation Stop Katie from Undressing, on the advice of a friend and we'll see how that goes too. The suggestion was to put her in clothes that can't easily be removed. Katie has been warned that if she undresses again she will be forced to put on jeans (much hated still), and a shirt that has buttons in the back and will no longer be allowed to wear the dress or skirt. The hard to get off clothes will be in her cubby and will be what she has to wear the next time she undresses. We'll see how it goes!

Have to Brag!

Tonight after we finished reading our bedtime books, Tyler asked if he could "read" one to us. He picked up a Dr. Seuss book and started reading. At first we were just playing along expecting him to make up a story. Then we started noticing that it was pretty accurate, so Lance went and stood behind him reading over his shoulder. He was getting the words almost exactly right, turning the pages when he was supposed to, and seemed to be sounding out the ones that he didn't recognize by picture. Now, I must say that a lot of it was probably by memory because it was "Fox in Socks" which has been in the rotation for the last month or so - but it was still pretty impressive for him to even remember the entire book! I have been a little worried lately because he refuses to cooperate when anyone asks him what a letter is, what sound it makes, or what a word starts with (all things he has been able to tell us for a while), and just gives silly answers. So, it is reassuring that he is likely still moving in the right direction - picking up sight words, understanding reading left to right, and that words on the page tell the story. I know there is really no reason for him to learn to read right now, but I know he will enjoy it and that he is on the cusp of doing it, plus it helps validate my thoughts that he will be ready for school in another year and that his current school isn't keeping him from progressing as much as I feared.

We had a great time at the Vandy Black and Gold Spring game last night, even though we did have a mishap! Tyler fell down the concrete, stadium bleachers rolling down before anybody could get to him. He got a bruise/cut on his head, and some scrapes but for the most part he was thankfully OK. It could have been so much worse, and it scared me silly, but other than that they did great and Katie said "Vandy football is fun" so that sure made Dad happy!

Katie was dancing and cheering pretty much the whole time, and it was super cute. She was watching the cheerleaders and loved when the band started playing!

Tyler really was having a ball - before and after the fall.

Of course a highlight for them was getting to share a frozen Strawberry Lemonade!

Katie's outfit was a compromise since after we tried the uniform on she wouldn't take it off even though it was waaaay too short. Leggings meant she could keep it on. Still, I always love to see them in Vandy gear so here are just two more random pictures :)!

Still Stripping...

Well, today was... interesting. My boss talked to the kid's teachers and told them that they should act as if I don't work there, and try to handle things that arise as if I don't have an office literally feet from their classrooms. So, today when Katie, AGAIN, stripped continuously in the midst of temper tantrums, the teachers tried to handle it as if I didn't work there. That was until she was in our equivalent of the "principals office" and decided to angrily take all her clothes off and he decided to take it to my boss to see what to do. I happened to be in a meeting in my boss's office so we both went in to deal with the "Katie taking all her clothes off - take 20" incident. She eventually redressed and was well-behaved for the afternoon, but I was upset because I really thought we were past this! She promises that she understands that is not how she is supposed to act if she doesn't want to go to school - her excuse for being angry - but only time will tell.

I am in the midst of a crazy month and have worse ahead - government grant deadlines, an event that doesn't have the attendance that we need, and a new fundraiser kick-off - and I admit that I have not had the most patience lately. Regardless, I really think that whatever amount of patience I was able to muster - the kids would be testing it right now! They are so, so sweet ( I Love you to the moon and sun and stars, mama), and funny (stories about flying cars, and talking dogs, dinosaurs that eat birthday cupcakes, and unfortunately the discovery of bathroom humor), and great with each other (hugs and comforting and encouraging that will melt your heart) - but they are also very, very mischevious right now! Tyler will not listen to a word I say, and seems to be incapable of following directions, and Katie has become super competitive constantly fighting with Tyler in an effort to "win" everything that could possible be interpreted as a competition - who gets in the bathtub first, who gets pajamas on first, who finishes eating first... It has become very exhausting to try to referee their scuffles! I surely hope that this phase is almost over - but really I will just be happy if at least the stripping is winding down!

Early Easter Fun

The kids are really enjoying Easter this year, especially since they are candy freaks. They had a hunt at school and got lots of candy, which they unfortunately know how to open and sneak! Lance found Katie hiding in her play fridge with a bag of skittles that she had pilfered from the pantry. Today we went to Cheekwood for some arts and crafts and another hunt. Katie only got three eggs at that hunt because she was on the lookout for the golden egg. She more than made up for it at the neighborhood hunt we had this afternoon. Now that there are finally other houses in the neighborhood there are also more children and they did a really fun thing where all the neighbors hid eggs in their front yards for the children to walk around and find. They ended it with cupcakes and juice boxes and the kids had a blast, plus their baskets were full! Tomorrow we head to Ray Ray and So-So's and I for one am hoping the weather is just as gorgeous as it was today.

They had a lot of fun riding their scooters and bikes around the neighborhood after the hunt, too. We went for a ride because they got a bit jealous seeing the littler kids on their trikes and push wagons as we went from house to house.

Dinosaurs!

Sorry it has taken me a bit to tell you all about our dinosaur adventure last Sunday! I have a good excuse, though - my mom and grandmother (THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH) came up to watch the kids Sunday, Monday and Tuesday while Lance and I went to a practice round at the Masters. It was so, so much fun and the kids had fun visiting with Grandma and GG. Before they arrived on Sunday we went to the zoo to see the dinosaurs. The kids, especially Tyler, have been talking about going for a while now and were super excited.

However, as soon as we turned the corner after entering and heard a roar Tyler began to get a little scared. The second or third dinosaur we saw depicted a dinosaur that spits so it shot water out at us and that was enough for Tyler. He hightailed it back toward the entrance and was going to have nothing to do with it anymore until Lance picked him up and tried to explain pretend.

Katie was long gone - she took Ray-Ray's hand and tried to be a big girl but she definitely wanted to zoom through there. She was going so fast that we didn't even manage to get a picture of her with any of the dinosaurs. This dinosaur was at the end when we thought Tyler had calmed a little bit, but it was big and loud with sharp teeth and it scared Tyler all over again!

All in all it was a fantastic exhibit and Lance and I agreed that we would like to have a chance to read the signs and see it in more detail, but the kids just couldn't do it! They could not be convinced that the dinosaurs were not real, which shouldn't be surprising because I also can't convince them that monsters don't exist either. They were much happier when all was said and done and they got to play with stuffed animal dinosaurs and have Ray Ray close by to keep them safe! Tyler is back to talking about his favorite dinosaurs, playing with them all the time, and they sleep with these - but they haven't mentioned going back for a visit!