This picture of how she normally is was just taken on Sunday, and she has been fine on weekends and at home at night, but all week she has been crying literally all day, every day at school (they have tried bringing her to me, taking her to Tyler, etc. with no real benefit). What is so sad is that it is not whining, temper crying - it is big ole' crocodile tears, sincerely sad crying and it breaks my heart. Luckily, she did ok at So-So and Ray-Ray's Tuesday night, which allowed Lance and I to get out to watch the Vandy/Florida Senior night basketball game. We had a lot of fun, and are so thankful that they kept them for us, and that the kids love being with them so much that they could care less what we go and do!
Of course I have been "researching" possible reasons for Katie's new behavior and it seems to be normal if the child is new to preschool or newly separating from the parents (which she isn't), but not so much if nothing is different. This was a good summary of all of the things I read - "Separation anxiety can re-occur in older children in response to changing life events such as bullying at school, a bereavement of a loved one, a change of school, parental illness or marital disharmony. This often presents as the child or young person showing distress or fear when they go to school or they may insist that they are with their parent at all times, even to the point of sleeping in the parent’s bed. This is exactly what Katie has been up to, going so far as to wake up this morning and cry to be in bed with us, which is very strange for them. As far as I know, none of those things apply in this situation - there have been no changes, nothing going on with us (the parents), and the teachers say nothing has changed in school. When asked what is wrong all she says is "I want to be with you," or "I don't want you to leave." Interestingly, I did read this too- Is the young person different from the majority of other young people, for example from a different ethnic or religious group?. She is the only Caucasian child in her class, but that has been the case since she was 2 years old so I don't know why that would be an issue now, unless she is just starting to recognize it and feels different and confused. The only other thing I can think it might be is that she has picked out the word "die" lately in some of their songs (surprising how many children's songs talk about it) and says it is a "bad word." I think someone has explained the meaning to her and maybe she is just starting to get a rudimentary understanding of death and how it could affect her or those she loves. I really don't know what to do, so for now we are just going to go with Lance's advice and opinion that it is just a stage that she will soon outgrow, or a time of cognitive development that she will soon sort out.
A decision has to be made about school this week, since sign up starts today. I cannot find any aftercare options for the program at the elementary school they will eventually attend, and know that we can't always be there at 2:30 to pick them up so we are not going to pursue the Metro Pre-K program. We just can't find a way to afford any of the other Pre-K programs we were interested in, so it looks like they will be here for another year and then definitely starting Kindergarten as the youngest in their class. I just don't think two more years in this program would be the best option for them, and prices around here at other preschools are exorbitant for two so we will start them in public school as soon as we can and hope for the best. I am kind of glad that decision time is upon us because I am getting really annoyed talking to admissions folks and program directors (none of them will tell you tuition until you talk to them, schedule a tour, etc. - which just seems like such a waste of time if you know that it is out of your price range). One that I just talked to finally said (after I told her that I would be happy to schedule a tour if I knew that our attending there would be feasible but not until then) that tuition would be $850 a month for the first child and then gave me the fabulous news that the second child is ONLY $845 a month. Wow, thanks for the $5.
$20,000 a year for child care (and that doesn't even include random things like supply fees, field trips, lunches, etc) is just mind-blowing, but it seems that most people we know find a way to do it. It often makes me feel like I am not doing enough to put my kids first when we make the decision that we just don't have reliable enough income from Lance (commission only) to make that big of a financial commitment, or that I am not making enough sacrifices to make it happen. I probably made some friends that I spoke with uncomfortable when asking them about their childcare situations, because I sincerely wanted to know if I was missing out on some big secret of how people are able to send multiple children to the schools that they attend (people who I know are in similar financial situations as us). I was comforted to hear that our friends have had to get really creative to do it if they have more than one child - one friend changed to working part-time only so she doesn't have to pay for before and after care, and family gifts and loans seem to be common (and this made me realize that we are lucky to have the option that we do of them going with me, because without it loans may have been our only choice, too). It does make me feel better, after talking with them, to know that I am not the only one obsessing over this or the only one who wishes for some options in the middle (something that really does seem to be missing - there are either the really high priced, academic oriented places or private schools, or low-income centers that focus primarily on children receiving subsidies - but not much in between)! The in-between folks probably (wisely) decide that working doesn't make sense and choose to stay-at home rather than work to pay for child care, but for a myriad of reasons that is not an option for us, and besides, I really like my job! I think, too, that work helps keep me somewhat grounded. I see what a blessing our center is in the lives of people who are hard working and committed to providing quality education for their children, but who simply cannot afford traditional preschool fees. Our programs really do fill a critical gap for parents who make too much to qualify for social services, but still need affordable care options. I also see, on a daily basis, what need truly is and some of the hardships that other families face, and it makes my issues look pretty trivial.
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