Role Reversal

I can say it, since she is nowhere around to hear me and can't read just yet - Katie was the star of the show at her old school.  She was confident, outgoing, and widely recognized as just being a natural leader, kind of bossy :), but for the most part sweet and funny.  Now, it seems, that the roles have reversed.  Tyler is the one that is Mr. Chatty, answering questions and telling jokes, charming the teachers, and making friends, while Katie kind of keeps to herself and lets Tyler take the spotlight.  I am just waiting for Katie to come out of her shell at the new school since I really don't think that shy and reticent is much of her true personality, but it is good to see "Ty" (as Katie keeps calling him) be able to hold his own around her when he used to just let her do all the talking and friend-making for the two of them!  I admit though, that I am having a hard time with Katie not showing her true colors and wish that they could both be confident and friendly at the same time!  This morning when Tyler was dropped off one of the teachers was talking about how smart Tyler is and how impressed they are with all he knows and says and talks about.  It takes everything in me not to come to Katie's defense and make sure they all know that she is smart, and funny, and pretty great too!  They probably know that, and if not they certainly will eventually, but one of my hang-ups and fears has always been that one of them is going to think the other is more of something...   


I want them to be distinct individuals, and to be recognized for their own strengths and weakness, and I cringe when I fear that people are classifying or labeling them, especially in school (I'm talking real school - not preschool).  I don't think there has to be a smart twin, or a funny twin, or an athletic one - it isn't an either/or - they can both be smart (and are), and I don't want them to think they are being compared or even worse that they don't measure up in comparison.  I, honestly, don't even really think that intelligence matters all that much when it comes to school performance if it isn't an extreme one way or the other.  More important, in my opinion, is liking school and valuing and enjoying the educational environment.  That is one thing that I am so far very pleased with at the new school.  The kids seem to be having so much fun, and the slight Montessori influence seems to be great for them both.  When I pick them up they are usually playing contentedly (as is the whole class of kids who are left)  with something of their choosing that they get to decide how to play with, and in what way, and for how long.  It is really great to see them learning so much, while having a lot of fun and really getting to do things that interest and intrigue them.  It seems to be mostly self-directed play during that time of day which is fabulous and something they haven't had a lot of in a school setting.  And, I really don't think that any of the teachers are judging either of them - I think it was a truly off-hand comment just because Tyler really can wow you with some of the ways his mind works and the ways he has learned to tell you about it all!  I am thrilled that my little "teacher's pet" (he comes by it honestly since I was a lot the same way) and my little day-dreamer who could take or leave school, both seem to be in a place that will be good for each of them.  I just have to remind myself that Lance and I will be the biggest influences on making sure that they both know that they are smart, and loved, and appreciated and also have to remember (and hope) that they aren't yet as neurotic as me and that I am the only one who takes this fairness and equality thing between them a bit too far :)!