Monday, October 27, 2008
Counting down the days
and getting a little sad . I keep doing the math and I don't like the final numbers at all!!! When I go back to work in a week I will see the babies for maybe an hour in the morning, and then if I get home at 5:00 (which will be rare since I have to go to the grocery store, run errands, etc) then I have about 3 hours to spend with the babies before they have to get baths and go to bed. During that time I'll be fixing dinner and straightening the house and doing laundry which means that I will get at most 20 hours with the kids each week and a lot of that is interrupted time. I know most of you did the same thing, I just never looked at it that way until now - that daycare and school will see my children way more than me! I guess that is just one of the struggles of a working mom. I really, really wish I could find a way to see these two grow up more than just evenings and weekends, but it is just not feasible right now for me not to work If the real estate market would improve I might have a chance, but as is these hospital bills, vaccination costs, diapers, formula, clothes, and so on require two incomes! I keep trying to tell myself that tons of families do it this way and their children are happy and well-adjusted. I guess my biggest fear is that the kids will love the ones they see more often more than me or that all of my time spent with them is doing things like feeding and bathing and I won't get to experience any of the milestones and fun new things. I am rambling, and being silly, these are our children and they will love us (and eventually hate us) regardless of our work schedules - I guess I just wanted to put into words the worries and fears I am having right now because hopefully they will be thoughts of the past once I see how things really work. If you had asked me before these munchkins were born I would have told you that I couldn't handle being a stay at home mom and that I was definitely working mom material - I guess you just never know!
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You sound exactly like I felt when I had to go back to work after our first was born. Never ever worry about the kids loving the daycare workers more than you and Lance. I worried about the same thing and 4 years (and another baby) later I can tell you that you have nothing to worry about. It just doesn't happen that way. It won't be long before those two are aware enough to get upset when you leave (hopefully only occasionally) and excited when you come back (almost always the case). And, the older they get, the more you will likely start to see fun benefits to daycare. There is a lot to be said for kids following the peer pack - using cups and utensils and potty training earlier and easier, learning to co-exist with other people at an early age - not to mention the early education part - they start telling you things and surprise you with what they have learned - it's awesome. Remember to focus on positives like that. The first day sucks, but it gets easier - Take it from one working mom who was at one time just as reluctant and time scared as you are now.
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