Kicking Myself

Well, the Metro Schools website just posted that children are only eligible for Kindergarten next year if they turn 5 by August 31st.  The only way to be grandfathered in is to have been in a Metro Pre-K classroom this year.  I am so mad at myself for not having put them in the Metro Pre-K classroom this year at the school they will attend, so they would be eligible.  I know rationally that there was no aftercare available which made it virtually impossible, but I think I should have tried harder to come up with a solution so we wouldn't be in this predicament now.  I reiterate that I really love their school and think it is fabulous for them and if we had all the money in the world I would probably be much more content to leave them there for another year.  The education is on par, and probably better, than what they will get at the public school.  The cost, though, is a lot different!  Our debt is just piling up and is equivalent to what we spend each month at their preschool and I just don't see how we can do another year of this.  I had false hope because the metro schools website continually said the September 30th date and I thought maybe they wouldn't change it until the following year and that is why this is so upsetting - I could see a light at the end of the tunnel but unfortunately now we are looking at having to spend $30,000 + before they get into "free" school.  If I had any worries about how they would do in Kindergarten it might be different, but I know that they would do fine and if they didn't I know we could hold them back a year and not have spent all the money!  We will probably look into the Metro Pre-K program for next year, but I bet I will decide it isn't worth it because the cost isn't that much cheaper and we would have to add-on aftercare and be in pretty much the same financial boat.  I guess I need to come to terms with being financially stressed for another year and a half and try to worry less and just realize what will be, will be.  I always also had a completely arbitrary age difference if we were to ever have another child - 5 years - and I can now decidedly say that K & T will be our only two!  I certainly know why finances are the number one reason for divorce and key cause of stress, but I am going to try to make it my resolution to not let it get to me and to remind myself that we should be able to get out of this mess once this expense is gone when the kids turn 6.  I just have to tell myself that everything happens for a reason and stop second-guessing and I apologize to anyone who reads this for updates on the kids, but I needed a place to vent!  I know I drive Lance crazy worrying and obsessing about it and hopefully now I can let it go and move on :)!  The good thing is that the kids will be excited to be in the Pre-K classroom (it is like being the "Seniors" in high school) and they really love the kids and teachers at their school and will like to have another year with them all.  Plus, Katie and her little friend in her preschool class are inseparable and they will go to different schools when in Kindergarten so this gives them another year together :).