Bad Parent

My children like school (so far)!  They are bright, and eager to learn and do well in class and on tests and assessments, and with reading and math, and with projects, etc., etc.   Each evening I check K & T's folders to see what has been sent home,and check to see if there is anything I need to sign or stay on them to get completed.  If  I notice that they have gotten anything incorrect on graded work I sit down with them and make sure they understand it (or get Lance to if it is math since new math is too much for me).  I sit with Katie and try to get her to work on her handwriting and remember when words need to be capitalized.  We make math flash cards, and I give spelling tests.  We really do make school and learning a priority.  It just isn't always the top priority.

I received an email this morning from Tyler's teacher that today was the third time Tyler didn't finish his homework.  I reminded her that last Wednesday he received a "homework pass" because it was his birthday, but she's basically correct. One Thursday when it seemed we had a million things to do at work and outside of work and when we were scrambling to get home, get everyone fed and get to baseball practice at 7:00 -  I let it slide.  Then, last night, I did it again. Granted, I didn't realize last night that what he didn't do actually was his daily homework ( it was just a worksheet torn from a Common Core Curriculum book that said Monday and Tuesday on it and I thought the teacher was just showing what they would have worked on Monday if they had been in school and what they had done that day), but it wouldn't have hurt to do it anyway, just in case. 

Last night, instead of doing what I now know was homework, we watched Katie, who was dressed from head to toe in gifts she received for her birthday, dance around being the "purple Princess Fairy."  We saw some good US Open tennis on TV (the kids thought it was funny that sisters - Serena and Venus Williams - were playing against each other instead of playing doubles), and had an interesting discussion with Tyler.  He asked Lance how much he makes when he sells a house (he has really been trying to get a handle on what things cost, what you need to make to pay bills, etc.).  Tyler has a good grasp of math concepts so Lance explained percentages and had Tyler working out the commission if he sold a $100,000 house and got 3% but had to give 20% of that to his boss and set some aside for taxes (then we had to explain taxes).  Working it all out in his head (without paper), and before I was able to get the answer - Tyler figured it out! That led to Katie wanting to get in on the "prove what math you know" action - and a pretty nerdy (but worthwhile, I think) family discussion ensued.  By the time I realized that it was getting late we had just enough time for their required 30 minutes of nightly reading (has to be in their reading log and both kids are very particular about writing exactly how many minutes and pages of what books they have read), and it didn't even cross my mind to have Tyler complete the worksheet.  

Tyler told his teacher that he didn't have time to do his homework.  That is obviously untrue, but I totally see how a 7 year old, with a parent who undervalues "busy work" and thinks family time and being active is very important, could think that.  He could have done it in aftercare, but to him that is when he gets to play basketball, and build things with legos and blocks with friends that aren't in his class - not homework time (and since they have PE only twice a week - I like him getting to play some, too).  He could have done it instead of going to his tennis lesson (for obvious reasons I think it is great to have a sport you enjoy, though).  He could have done it while eating dinner, or taking a bath, or instead of a bath, I guess (but probably not such a good idea since he did go to tennis and play basketball).  He could have done it instead of the required 30 minutes of reading he did from 8:30 - 9:00 (30 minutes after we would really like for them to be in bed anyway).  And he definitely could have done it instead of the 30 minutes we spent after dinner sitting on the porch doing "nothing."  

The point is, that he definitely could have gotten it done - there would just have to be a trade-off.  Tyler and I are now both in trouble with his teacher.  I do understand that it is important to fulfill your responsibilities and that kids learn to be more disciplined and accountable when they have to complete homework.   I know that I have to be the one to tell him that homework is not optional.  I have to be the one to tell him that we would love for him to sit and talk with us, or that yes, we will accept his challenge of a game of HORSE, but only AFTER his homework is done.  So, instead of explaining to the teacher that we typically don't get home until 6:00, that yes we do play soccer and baseball and that we actually think those activities are as valuable as a busy work homework sheet, that I generally like for my kids to bathe and eat regularly and that those two things do take time each evening, that the amount of sleep they get now results in their current "good behavior" and that she definitely does not want to see tired Tyler, and that I honestly don't think it is a big deal that my 7 year old isn't spending an hour a night concentrating on school (especially since every piece of work sent home has doodles and drawings on the back as if class time is not being maximized), I will just vent here :)!  I will definitely work on being a better parent, too.  I will make Tyler re-prioritize homework (Katie does not have homework).  I will assure the teacher that we will make every attempt to turn in work daily. And I will  try to make sure that, despite the kids having two working parents and probably more activities than they should, they don't feel like they don't have time to do their homework, play outside, AND enjoy family time for as long as they will indulge us!