When we bought our house I was super excited about it being in the neighborhood and school zone that we wanted, with a gorgeous view to be enjoyed in the outdoor living space that we longed for, with no stairs to climb (if I don't want) every day, and yes, room for the kids to play now and when they are older (basement). I do love that the kids are able to have neighborhood friends over, and play until it gets dark in our yard and those of their friends. I was way too idealistic, though, about what that playtime would look like! I envisioned basketball games and legos, video games and putting contests (and that happens), but did not realize that I would also be thrust into the role of "mean mom" with other people's kids!
Two weekends ago we had a stray cat hanging around. Lance is very allergic, and did not want anyone encouraging the cat to stay, mostly because Marley hates cats and is too old to protect herself, but also because Lance isn't a big fan either. One of Tyler's friends has a younger sister who sometimes plays with Katie. She was over at the house and repeatedly picked up the cat. I told her, also repeatedly, not to pick up the cat and eventually told her that she would have to go home if she wouldn't listen. Well, about ten minutes later the two boys come running into the house acting as if they are looking for something. I stop them and ask what they are searching for and they sheepishly tell me that they thing the "cat got in the house." I yell down to the girls thinking they are in the basement and out walks the little sister from Katie's bedroom (where she is without Katie) with the cat in her arms. Lance and I immediately begin to yell to her to go back in and close the door because Marley saw the cat right at that moment. Marley runs up to her, the little girl drops the cat who immediately starts clawing at Marley and running. Lance manages to grab Marley - I grab the cat and take it outside, and firmly tell the little girl that the cat is not allowed in the house and that she is not to pick it up again.
We had a few other nuisances - silly string and something goopy all over the basement carpet and outside, spilled drinks and ants, chalk paint created from water that was all over our front walkway, stairs and anything that anyone touched (doors, windows, furniture), and more doors slammed than you would think possible. So, this weekend, I told my kids ahead of time that nobody would be allowed upstairs but that everyone was welcome to play outside and downstairs. We had, at one point, seven children (four boys and three girls), running around like banshees with me reminding some to go downstairs, and others not to lock the girls in the closet or swing golf clubs and baseball bats at people's heads. It was complete chaos, and when the little girl of cat debacle fame came out of the upstairs bathroom right as I walked back in from having to yell at someone and threw down her used toilet paper in my kitchen, complained of being hungry and then inexplicably started crying because she fell in the garage and was hurt (I don't doubt that she fell, but it wasn't just then) - I had to send her home. I asked her brother to take her to his mom, and he came back to get her shoes and said he wasn't allowed to stay without his sister. Then their mom invited the kids over for chocolate chip cookies but I wouldn't let them go because they had friends at our house that they couldn't leave who weren't invited and everyone was grumpy so it became time for everyone to leave. I probably over-reacted, but I was definitely at my wits end!
It's a shame that the Sunday chaos has clouded what was otherwise an awesome neighborhood friends weekend. Friday night they were back and forth between a neighbors house having dance parties, and playing basketball and golf and soccer and tennis, and went to bed exhausted after a fun and active evening. Saturday a friend was camping in their backyard and invited the kids over for hot dogs and marshmallow roasting, and they played in the tent some and then headed home when it started raining in earnest. It was fun, and the kids really love having the independence to play without being watched, and to go between houses and run around and just be kids. I love it, too, but I don't love being a rules enforcer and feeling like kids are destroying my house at every turn. Hopefully we can find a good balance - they learn to understand that they need to stay downstairs (not much to ruin down there) or outside, my kids learn what pushes my buttons (being wild and out of control, mostly) and can tell their friends when they are crossing the line - and maybe I will get up the nerve to tell my neighbor that I just don't think her little girl (she is 5) is quite ready for neighborhood playtime :)!
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