The differences in twins

Before I had the babies I read articles about not being depressed if your baby was unhappy or not as "perfect" as you imagined and I frankly thought those books and tidbits were quite silly. My naive thoughts ran toward well, of course babies cry and if you think your baby is going to be the newborn you see on movies and tv you are crazy BUT, now I know what they were cautioning about. One of my babies is relatively happy, cries when infants typically cry - when wet, when hungry, when tired and during the witching hours for no particular reason whatsoever and I expected that. She will let out gut wrenching shrieks and cries that you think should shatter glass, but she will also reward you with an hour of bright eyed playing and and tenative practice smiles that will melt your heart. The other whines, fusses, and grumbles constantly when he is not asleep with no real identifiable reason other than wanting to be held which often doesn't even work to quiet the rumbling! He rarely wants to use us has his entertainment and has had very, very few "smiles." Until last night when a friend commented on the baby of another friend I could not put my finger on exactly what was bothering me about Tyler and his fussiness and general discontent - she said to my other friend "your baby is so happy," and then I knew - I am afraid that Tyler is unhappy. You don't realize that there is a real association with how happy your baby is and what kind of parent you are perceived to be - if your baby is crying or upset everyone thinks you are doing something wrong or tries to find a reason i.e., his tummy is upset, he is hungry, he is cold, hot, you should pick him up, you should not pick him up, you name it - people want to find a reason for a fussy baby. I am coming to the conclusion that sometimes the reason is simply because he wants to cry or he is just so not amused by not being able to communicate or get what he wants that he is going to fuss about it! When you think of babies you think of giggles and smiles and coos and bright, happy eyes and sure the occasional crying, but you never envision a serious little being who seems downright reluctant to be happy. I am hoping this is just a phase and it is part of the colicky type of crying and fussing that is normal until 3 months old or so, but if not, if I do have a serious little thinker rather than a baby who lights up the room with smiles and laughs I think I'll have a pretty good idea where he gets it, and it isn't from his dad!
I love my little Tyler so, so much - please don't think I am even hinting at favoring one over the other - I just think it is natural with twins to be able to see the differences pretty easily and to make comparisons. I think for many, many years to come I'll be questioning our parenting, trying to get to know these little ones and trying my damndest not to make them anything they aren't or judge them for not being exactly what I expected them to be - and right now I am really beginning to think that God is using Tyler to try to teach me the patience that I know will be more than necessary in the years to come!

My Sweet Little Babies!

Things I wasn't told about having children...

* - That your back would hurt all the time! It makes complete sense now that I am living it, but I just did not realize that you do soooo many things that make it ache. Picking them up from the various contraptions that are meant to sit them upright, allow them to sleep, or entertain (ha) them, changing diapers, putting them in carriers, putting the carriers in the car, and the ultimate back killer - bathtime! They love their baths now and we completely jip them out of calming, fun bathtime because we just can't bend over for that long. I guess this is another reason that people have children before 30!

* - That I would look for things to vaccuum just so I am not running the vacuum pointlessly. We are going to submit a video to America's Funniest Home videos because the kids reaction to the vacuum is truly hilarious. They can both be completely freaking out, inconsolably crying, turning red with fists clenched and as soon as the vacuum comes on they calm down and next thing you know their eyes are closed and they are sleeping! Unfortunately, once you turn the vacuum off the crying resumes, and it can get pretty annoying to endure the constant sound of a vacuum. We are going to record the sound and put it next to them to try to tone down the loudness, but who knows when we will actually get around to doing that.

* - That your conversations with friends and each other would completely change and that it would be completely normal to discuss the consistency and frequency of poops, the exact amount of spit-up that is acceptable, and how cute little naked butts are! And that you would spend way, way too much time trying to determine if a squawk is really a coo or if that was gas or a smile!

* - That absolutely everyone will have an opinion about how a baby should be fed, how long they should sleep, if they are allowed to cry, if they should be out of the house, if they should have vaccinations - the list is endless. Never would I have guessed that L and I would be "arguing" over sleeping and eating schedules or that either of us would care so much about the merits of our "method."

* - and one that I was told but that I had no idea what it would be like - that we would love them so much that it hurts, that I would love L even more seeing what an amazing father he already is, and that a little tiny, sweet baby could be both frustrating beyond belief and the most awesome gift imaginable.

An explanation for the fussiness!

The nurse came today to weigh and measure the babies. They are expected to gain an ounce a day and Katie exceeded that - she now weighs 9 pound, 9 ounces! The big news is that Tyler is now........(drumroll please) 9 pounds, 8 ounces!!! I can't believe it and neither could the nurse. She weighed him three times then she weighed Katie again just to make sure the scale was working! She is 19 1/2 inches long and he is 19 1/4. I guess this explains why Tyler has been so fussy, clingy and hungry lately - he was (and maybe still is) going through a massive growth spurt. They are doing fantastic other than the constant crying and wanting to be held and yes, Lori, Katie does open her eyes! They need to gain about 8 more ounces and we can start trying to let them sleep through the night - woohoo. Right now we are letting them sleep until they wake up at night and they are naturally waking at 2:30 or so, so they aren't ready yet to go for much longer than four hours but soon!

Our life in pictures

I am not going to re-post the stuff I wrote on the other site, but I am going to add pictures. I think the pictures up until this point tell a lot of the story - they are still growing well and eating good. The nurse from Nurses for Newborns is coming this week to weigh and measure them and if they continue to gain like they have been Katie will be over 9 pounds and Tyler will be at least 8 pounds!!! They are recovering from their first colds (so sad but I guess it had to happen some time, better when I am home than when they start daycare). They are still sleeping pretty well, after the hell of the first two weeks, three hours straight seems like a solid slumber. They go down at about 10:30, wake up (actually we have started to have to wake them) at 2:00 to eat and then go back to sleep until 5:30 or 6:00 and then sleep from 7:00 to 9:00 AM. The 2 hours in the morning will have to end when I go back to work soon and I hope we can adjust! Not too much longer before we are allowed to try to let them sleep through the night. We have gotten conflicting information - some say when they are 10 pounds, some say when they are three months old and others say at 8 weeks typically, but that we have to add 6 weeks to that to account for prematurity. I think we are going to try when they are about 10 weeks just not waking them for their feeding and seeing when they naturally wake up and go from there. The best laid plans...

Here are some pics!


This is from when they were first home - they slept together in the same side of the bassinet for a while. They are to squirmy for that now!

This one is about a week after they came home, they were already becoming a lot more alert!

Here are a couple of our favorites from when they were almost six weeks old: