Dance Pictures!

I really don't like to post pictures of only one of the kids, but in this case I am thinking it's OK!  Katie had her dance pictures made a while back, and today we had rehearsal for Saturday's recital and got to pick them up.  They are pretty cute - I didn't spring for the digital copies so these are just pictures of the actual photos taken with my camera -  but you get the idea.

The kids officially start their new school on June 25th!  They have been behaving well lately, and really seem to be having a good time so there will definitely be an adjustment, but it will all work out well eventually I trust.  Thanks to the state of Tennessee the school decision has been made - they changed the cut-off birthdate for starting and the kids just miss it next year so they will be 5 almost 6 when they start Kindergarten.  It is what it is, and unless we pursue gifted testing and placement for them, it is really the only option.  We will know more about their readiness after this year.


I had a great Mother's Day - brunch at Copper Kettle and dinner with the Nashville side of the family at Flemings.  The kids did wonderful at both meals, and really made my day!  The recital is this weekend, and it is not too long until I take the kids with me to my dad's and then I go on to my annual beach trip with the girls.  We are trying to figure out a time for the kids to spend with my mom before they start the new school, so lots going on in the next couple of months! We really want to get them in to swim lessons, but the next one starts the Saturday I am on my girls trip and with only four sessions, missing one and the first one at that, is probably not a good idea. 

I am sure I will have more pictures to post after Saturday - we have a birthday party after the recital, and may even try to get the flip video to work and post here!

Weekends are too short!

We had such a fun weekend that Katie slept in until 8:00 this morning!  Of course, she won't do that on a weekend when I could actually enjoy not having my cling-on first thing in the morning, but we let her sleep because she obviously needed it!  Friday night Cousin Liz watched the kids (thanks so, so much Liz) while Lance and I went to a night golf tournament.  The kids had a good time with Liz reading to them, and she even got the blame this morning when we were heading to school when Katie told me "Miss Liz said we didn't have to go to school today."  I wasn't buying it, and of course we had dual meltdowns when we got in their classrooms, but it just shows how much they are catching on to that little trick.  If Tyler wants something he will go to Lance and tell him I said it was ok or vice versa, and they always say that someone who isn't where they are said they could do it - as in Ray Ray said we could go to the zoo today, So So said you would read 5 books, and the other day B-Bob (who they haven't talked to in a while) "said" they could go swimming - the little devious stinkers!

Saturday afternoon we went to a birthday party for the girls of some of our good friends.  They have a park-like swing set, lots of kid-friendly activities, and a special party ice cream truck showed up!  The kids thought it was so much fun, and especially liked the Dora and Sponge Bob ice cream that they got to pick out and order for themselves (sorry about the spot - it was taken with my phone that has been dropped way too many times and needs to be replaced)!

Sunday, was a really fun day too.  We started out with breakfast, went to the Tennessee Arts and Crafts show at Centennial and walked around the Parthenon, fed the ducks, and played games in the grass.  It was really hot, so we decided to pick up a little baby pool for the kids to play with in the afternoon once Lance had to go to work.  They were ecstatic and had so much fun.  For one of the first times ever, I was glad when rain came on a pretty, sunny day because it meant I could convince the kids to get out of the "pool."  They are almost too big for the one we chose, but we got this one because of the slide and it was a big hit!  We don't have a single flat spot in our backyard, but this worked better than any other we've gotten so I say it was a success!

Katie was being a little daredevil jumping into the pool and off the slide, and dancing like crazy.  Tyler was trying to be a bit of a daredevil going down the slide sideways and head first, but he did it quite slowly - couldn't quite get past his innate cautious nature!  

I think we have finally decided on a new school situation for the kids.  There is one close to our house that has openings at the end of June.  Lance and I went and toured it and it seems like it will be a good fit and we both agree that it is way past time to move the kids and we just have to find a way to make it work.   I was content with our decision until I drove Lance's car to tennis Saturday morning and realized that it is not going to last much longer.  Almost 250,000 miles and it definitely drives like it!  Mine creaks, squeaks and sputters and at 150,000 miles I don't think we are going to have the same luck with it as we have with Lance's.  The extra that we will be paying for childcare would cover TWO car payments a month, and we will have to do something car-wise soon for both of us which makes me waver a little bit on moving the kids now and incurring the extra expense.  I desperately don't want to deal again with the overwhelming financial strains and stress that we were just coming out of, but I truly think a new school environment is what is best for the kids and we are lucky that the place they are going has two openings.  We are on the wait list at a couple of other places that only have 1 opening, but I don't know that we can wait until August to see if something comes available.  I also think summer will be a good transition time for the kids, since they love playing outside and water play (part of the new program), and it may be easier for them to get acclimated when there is more opportunity to be active!  I have no doubt, though, that it will be hard.  They are already talking about going to the "back building" here where the older classrooms are and it will definitely be an adjustment to not be with me or where they have been for two years!  I am excited, too, though because I think the kids will eventually love it.  They will get to make friends with some other kids who will be going to the same school as them to hopefully make Kindergarten easier, they will be in the same class as each other (something they have been asking for and that I think will be ok now that they have gained a little independence and confidence separately), and because the new place is smaller and not a non-profit there will be some new activities that are available there that aren't here that I think they will enjoy, too!

I know this is a super long post, but just a quick update on Katie Bug - she has been doing pretty good.  She has, unfortunately, had to visit the principal's office a couple of times but she is staying dressed and is attempting some of the strategies we gave her (she told me she took lots of deep breaths when she was upset).  Tyler is still being quite defiant, and not listening, but the discipline techniques that everyone encourages actually work with him for now!  That is another thing that I think will be good at the new school - they keep them very busy and the general consensus seems to be that Katie acts up most when she is bored.  They don't have as long of a naptime at the new place and they seemed to be pretty active when we toured, so we'll see if that makes a difference once they get over the separation anxiety that we are sure to deal with!

Katie and her backpack...

Katie was allowed to take her backpack (Minnie Mouse with wheels) to school for show-n-tell the other day, and ever since she has been obsessed with the thing.  The backpack has been packed and re-packed with the most random things she chooses about a million times, and it has to go everywhere with us.  It's funny that neither of them has really had that one thing that they use as sort of a "security blanket," but now I can relate with those people who have to have back-up blankets or toys in case something happens to the first.  She would be devastated if it broke, which is very likely since it is one of the most cheaply made things I have ever seen.  It is kind of strange that a backpack is the choice - but she can roll it around, take things with her, and it seems to make her feel like a "big girl."  The unexpected bonus is that we finally have something to take away.  That sounds horrible, but until now we didn't have anything that she wanted enough for it to be a consequence if she wasn't allowed to play with it - but now we do :)! 

Katie said to Tyler this morning, "Ty, I am going to be good so I can take my backpack in the car."  Two funny things about that, to me.  One, she is now telling Tyler she is going to be good too, because he has started to try to "parent" her on the way to or at school, copying the things we say - even going so far as to say "I am proud of you for being good today, Katie" when we were praising her for a good day the other day.  Two, that she has taken to calling him "Ty."  I don't know if she has heard someone else calling him that, or if Tyler is just too long for her these days, but I started noticing it earlier this week and it has continued.  I don't really mind because that was the original intent of the name choice for me way back when (we had names picked out years before the kids came along).  Lance, on the otherhand, prefers to call him Tyler and says that is why we named him that (although that argument would hold more water if his sister wasn't called not her "real" name Katie). 

No pictures, although we had a fun day and I wish I had remembered my camera.  I had a tennis match this morning and met Lance with the kids at Taco Bell since he had a full day showing houses in store once I was done.  I mention Taco Bell because the kids thought that was one of the more fun things they did today - it was all about the swiveling chairs!  We then went to Red Caboose Park and finally found a park with a sandbox which the kids loved.  I know that I am bordering on helicopter parent when I am at one of those places, but I just can't help it.  It has lots of nooks and crannies and is really spread out - which means that it is really easy to lose sight of the kids.  Most of the other parents were sitting on benches chatting or reading while their kids were playing.  I, however, was running around frantically trying to keep eyes on both of them which proved impossible. Anytime I plan to go to the park I envision them playing, and me sitting and enjoying watching them - but to date that has never happened!  I just can't seem to handle not being able to see them both at one time, or relaxing and just trusting that they can play and have fun without getting into mischief.  We went to the Franklin Main Street festival, too, this afternoon and the kids loved that.  We got sno-cones, went to the petting zoo area, and watched some dancers perform.  Needless to say, the kids are worn out, and so am I!  We had a great day, though, and I definitely needed it - we had a successful event at work last week, one of two big grants were submitted, we were awarded a grant that was iffy on getting, and the Parent Fair is over, so I was looking forward to the weekend and am glad I got to spend the day with reasonably well-behaved, very funny children who never cease to amaze me in how they look at the world (and how they remind me to look at it too)!

"That" Parent

I have officially become "that" parent at the kid's school. The one who has no control over her children. The one who is stared at with either pity or disgust, depending on how much the other person thinks I am to blame for my child's behavior. And now, the one who has been referred to the RIP program (Regional Intervention Program - Positive behavior managment program for pre-schoolers and parents). I am in the midst of a very, very busy couple of weeks at work and dealing with this really may just be enough to put me over the edge. Katie obviously needs a break, and thanks to her shenanigans so do I!

Monday night I took the kids with me to the grocery store and endured some of the brattiest behavior ever from my children - complete with whining, screaming, crying, jumping out of the cart, and Katie doing everything in her power to not get in the car (because I wouldn't buy her a book that she saw that she wanted). She proceeded to get out of her carseat (without unbuckling it it) while we were on the way home and was standing in the seat. When we finally got to the house, I carried her in and put her in timeout at which point she completely undressed, intentionally peed on the floor, and threw everything she could get her hands on. This behavior continued the entire evening, and at bathtime she was immediately put into her room after hitting Tyler (with a bath toy - and she had already been hitting and scratching both of us) and wasn't allowed to finish her bath. She was kicking and screaming, slamming doors, throwing clothes, and taking her pajamas off up until Lance got home when she finally calmed down. It, honestly infuriates me that he has never seen her behavior at that level, because he really seems to think I am exaggerating when I tell him that it is truly out of control and that it is not just me overreacting or worrying too much about what others think. It is actually rare for her to act up like that at home, since she much prefers to humiliate me in public and at school, and by the time he got home she had to be exhausted since it was the most prolonged tantrum I have ever seen.

Yesterday she did not want to leave the playground at school and when I picked her up off of the tricycle she was riding she began to hit, scratch and bite me. When I put her down for fear of dropping her, she darted out of the classroom. I chased after her, yelling to one of the teachers to please watch Tyler, and only caught up with her when she had gotten out of the front double doors and was heading toward the busy parking lot. I brought her back in and put her in the "principal's" office while I went to get Tyler and as I was walking out of the classroom with him I see her dart by with two teachers running behind her yelling for her to stop. I left Tyler again and chased her all around the back building and playground and then had to pick her up again and endure being hit, scratched and bit some more. Today, she is not being violent or yelling, but has reverted back to taking all of her clothes off and on the playground today she removed her clothes and ran to the back of the very large playground and hid, completely naked. She was brought to my office after the second time of this when she repeatedly said that the reason she was doing it was because she wanted "my mama," and didn't want to be at school. This behavior was the reason for the referral, not the tantrums - because undressing and running away in public just cannot keep happening!

I truly do think that the main reason for the clothes removal is to get attention, and I fear that it won't stop until she is not at school at the same place that I work (because she knows that here she will get to see me if she continues to act up). I have read all of the advice on what to do with your child having tantrums - time-out, she has to physically be held in a spot or if she is in her room she kicks the doors, throws things at the wall, and destroys anything she can get her hands on; notice, compliment and reward good behavior - we constantly do that and she seems to understand and be proud of the acknowledgment but can't handle herself when she loses her temper; communicate to find out why she is angry - every single time we try to find out what is wrong and it is either something we can't control (like I have to go to work), or she wants something that she doesn't need (like the book). The hitting, scratching, kicking thing - the only solution I have read is to put her in time-out, but I can't seem to find an answer as to how to keep her in that spot and not running away (if we are say in a grocery store and not near her room), or how these books propose that I take care of my other 3 year old when she is demanding so much attention in public. These things that I keep reading seem to say mainly the same thing, "the problem is often inept, inconsistent parenting. I feel like we are consistent, and we do our best to do as they say by controlling our tempers, enforcing rules that are reasonable and using discipline that they can understand - but obviously something is going wrong somewhere.

There are tons and tons of books and articles about the "Torturous Threes," and the "Tantrum Threes," and hopefully we are nearing the end of what I am praying is just a stage. It is really a shame, because for the most part I love this age, and the kids are typically funny, and engaging, and just fun to be around - but they are also stubborn, strong-willed, smart little things who are testing every single boundary and learning how to be independent and that can certainly be challenging! We'll see how the "intervention" goes - although I truly don't think that this behavior is that atypical in terms of tantrums and acting out - just the way she is expressing it - and I will continue to wish to win the lottery so I can quit work, make a donation to ease my guilt of leaving my job, and none of us will have to go to "school"for the next couple of years, unless we want to :)! I have implemented stage one of operation Stop Katie from Undressing, on the advice of a friend and we'll see how that goes too. The suggestion was to put her in clothes that can't easily be removed. Katie has been warned that if she undresses again she will be forced to put on jeans (much hated still), and a shirt that has buttons in the back and will no longer be allowed to wear the dress or skirt. The hard to get off clothes will be in her cubby and will be what she has to wear the next time she undresses. We'll see how it goes!

Have to Brag!

Tonight after we finished reading our bedtime books, Tyler asked if he could "read" one to us. He picked up a Dr. Seuss book and started reading. At first we were just playing along expecting him to make up a story. Then we started noticing that it was pretty accurate, so Lance went and stood behind him reading over his shoulder. He was getting the words almost exactly right, turning the pages when he was supposed to, and seemed to be sounding out the ones that he didn't recognize by picture. Now, I must say that a lot of it was probably by memory because it was "Fox in Socks" which has been in the rotation for the last month or so - but it was still pretty impressive for him to even remember the entire book! I have been a little worried lately because he refuses to cooperate when anyone asks him what a letter is, what sound it makes, or what a word starts with (all things he has been able to tell us for a while), and just gives silly answers. So, it is reassuring that he is likely still moving in the right direction - picking up sight words, understanding reading left to right, and that words on the page tell the story. I know there is really no reason for him to learn to read right now, but I know he will enjoy it and that he is on the cusp of doing it, plus it helps validate my thoughts that he will be ready for school in another year and that his current school isn't keeping him from progressing as much as I feared.

We had a great time at the Vandy Black and Gold Spring game last night, even though we did have a mishap! Tyler fell down the concrete, stadium bleachers rolling down before anybody could get to him. He got a bruise/cut on his head, and some scrapes but for the most part he was thankfully OK. It could have been so much worse, and it scared me silly, but other than that they did great and Katie said "Vandy football is fun" so that sure made Dad happy!

Katie was dancing and cheering pretty much the whole time, and it was super cute. She was watching the cheerleaders and loved when the band started playing!

Tyler really was having a ball - before and after the fall.

Of course a highlight for them was getting to share a frozen Strawberry Lemonade!

Katie's outfit was a compromise since after we tried the uniform on she wouldn't take it off even though it was waaaay too short. Leggings meant she could keep it on. Still, I always love to see them in Vandy gear so here are just two more random pictures :)!

Still Stripping...

Well, today was... interesting. My boss talked to the kid's teachers and told them that they should act as if I don't work there, and try to handle things that arise as if I don't have an office literally feet from their classrooms. So, today when Katie, AGAIN, stripped continuously in the midst of temper tantrums, the teachers tried to handle it as if I didn't work there. That was until she was in our equivalent of the "principals office" and decided to angrily take all her clothes off and he decided to take it to my boss to see what to do. I happened to be in a meeting in my boss's office so we both went in to deal with the "Katie taking all her clothes off - take 20" incident. She eventually redressed and was well-behaved for the afternoon, but I was upset because I really thought we were past this! She promises that she understands that is not how she is supposed to act if she doesn't want to go to school - her excuse for being angry - but only time will tell.

I am in the midst of a crazy month and have worse ahead - government grant deadlines, an event that doesn't have the attendance that we need, and a new fundraiser kick-off - and I admit that I have not had the most patience lately. Regardless, I really think that whatever amount of patience I was able to muster - the kids would be testing it right now! They are so, so sweet ( I Love you to the moon and sun and stars, mama), and funny (stories about flying cars, and talking dogs, dinosaurs that eat birthday cupcakes, and unfortunately the discovery of bathroom humor), and great with each other (hugs and comforting and encouraging that will melt your heart) - but they are also very, very mischevious right now! Tyler will not listen to a word I say, and seems to be incapable of following directions, and Katie has become super competitive constantly fighting with Tyler in an effort to "win" everything that could possible be interpreted as a competition - who gets in the bathtub first, who gets pajamas on first, who finishes eating first... It has become very exhausting to try to referee their scuffles! I surely hope that this phase is almost over - but really I will just be happy if at least the stripping is winding down!

Early Easter Fun

The kids are really enjoying Easter this year, especially since they are candy freaks. They had a hunt at school and got lots of candy, which they unfortunately know how to open and sneak! Lance found Katie hiding in her play fridge with a bag of skittles that she had pilfered from the pantry. Today we went to Cheekwood for some arts and crafts and another hunt. Katie only got three eggs at that hunt because she was on the lookout for the golden egg. She more than made up for it at the neighborhood hunt we had this afternoon. Now that there are finally other houses in the neighborhood there are also more children and they did a really fun thing where all the neighbors hid eggs in their front yards for the children to walk around and find. They ended it with cupcakes and juice boxes and the kids had a blast, plus their baskets were full! Tomorrow we head to Ray Ray and So-So's and I for one am hoping the weather is just as gorgeous as it was today.

They had a lot of fun riding their scooters and bikes around the neighborhood after the hunt, too. We went for a ride because they got a bit jealous seeing the littler kids on their trikes and push wagons as we went from house to house.